Emotional Dilemma(s)

Two posts in one day?!?!?! I know, but I'm going to use this post in the way I originally intended this blog to work. Which means, this is the first post that I've put up that won't exclusively be an update (you can get this weekends below this one). I'm actually writing because I have a few things that I've been mulling over lately. They both can be characterized under "Moral Obligation?" Whether or not I have a moral obligation to the military, family/friends, coworkers, etc...

So, I'll just dive right in with the first thing. I've been thinking a lot lately, more as time passes, about how excited I am to go on vacation! And with Dave! We are going to be in the states for about 3 weeks total, and are planning on seeing as many people as possible, without turning our vacation into a stressful race. But, in order to minimize the stress and allow ourselves to enjoy our time, we have to cut out some people from the visit list. It needs to be known that the only reason we chose the month of June to go back is because I'm a bridesmaid in a friends' wedding. So we pretty much had to plan our trip around that date. And I mean really plan around the date. I think the agenda is full, up until the wedding, but then after is hazy. But then again, nothing is really set in stone because we don't even know if we'll get on the plane the day we've been basing our plans off. We know we must head to New Mexico to see Dave's sister, towards the end of the trip. And we know we have to be back in Washington by a certain day, but what we can do, who we can see, what we can afford, in between the wedding date and the NM trip date is all undecided. Which makes me anxious, and nervous, and stressed, because I know it will be too hectic and expensive to try and travel around Oregon for that open week. That means that this will also be the first vacation I've taken that I didn't see all my family members. And that's really hard for me to accept. It will have been a year since the last visit by the time we go back, and if I don't see everyone, then it will have been even longer before the next time. That list includes some grandparents that may not survive that length of time. I will try and contact as many able-bodied people as possible, to see if they can travel to see me this trip, but it I know there will only be a small fraction of folks that will do that, if there's any. So, I don't know what to do, because we want this trip to be relaxed...but, I can barely live with myself knowing that I won't be seeing all my family.

The next topic has to do with work. See, I have this project I'm working on that I'm quite excited about. It's a very time consuming project. Unfortunately, I know it won't get finished while I'm gone, so I really want to get as much done on it as I can before we leave. But, each night at work I only seem to get a small portion completed. It's a very extensive project and requires one step be completed before the next can be started. So, since I can't finish it before we leave, like I'd hoped, I'll have to finish it after I return. Well, the other day I heard a little birdie talk about a job opening "[I] would be perfect for" that would start a month or so after I got back. This job would most likely be more satisfying than the one I have currently, but would require that I leave the shop. Now, first of all, there is no guarantee that I would get the job, but it's still a possibility. The problems with getting the job are vast. Our shop is low on people, everyone is unhappy and wants out of the shop, and my project is not finished yet. These are all big issues for me, because they all mean a lot to me. I feel as though I have a moral obligation to stay behind with my coworkers in the shop, and tough things out right along next to them. I also feel as though I have a moral obligation to not add to the manning deficit in the shop. And lastly, I know that my project will help improve the functionality of the shop and that it won't get done unless I'm pushing for its completion. On the other hand, I would be a lot happier doing this other job. There are many opportunities to make improvements with that position and it would allow me a consistency in work schedules that I never imagined would be a reality for me. This consistency would compliment my degree goals, as well.

So, as it stands right now, I haven't said that I want my name put in the hat for this job...but I'm leaning toward it. And vacation? Yeah, I don't know where to begin with that. Any suggestions on either subject?